Rich parents are famous both for miserliness and astonishing longevity. And, when they finally do die, you'll find they've left their estate in inviolate trust to the golden retrievers.

The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.

Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.

Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?