As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop.

Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food, and Dan Quayle confused with a national political leader, masochists are clearly less mixed-up than the rest of us.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

Think about last time you were broke ... now how well did it go with spending your way out of it? Did that work?