As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun.

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.

When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.

The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.