The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else.

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. Please, talented scribblers, write what you don't. The blind guy with the funny little harp who composed The Iliad, how much combat do you think he saw?

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.

Any trade that is voluntarily made is mutually beneficial, by definition, and, indeed, is balanced, by definition.