My mother had to justify the fact that she had heart pills.

Of course they were saying: No doping! But as a rider, it's difficult to believe that things can really change from one day to the next.

The crazy thing is that I really wasn't under any pressure. My contract wasn't going to expire until the end of 2008, and everyone was satisfied with me. But I wasn't. I always wanted to improve.

I made a big mistake. There's no doubt about it. But there have been positive testing cases in the past where the offender wasn't attacked to quite the same extent, especially not by other riders.

I can count off on one hand the number of times I've used testosterone gel - because it doesn't really do much.

I assumed the amount wouldn't be detectable. I also didn't feel that I had done anything wrong.

The truth is that things were already going so poorly for me that nothing surprised me anymore. But then the BKA sent 20 agents to search my house.