George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
Patton OswaltYou know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist.
Patton OswaltI grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
Patton OswaltPeople will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
Patton OswaltI update my MySpace every day, I update my Facebook fan page, but that's about the extent of it. I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day. I'm on the phone every day. There's like five people I just call and yak with every single day. And that to me is my Internet. You can replace the Internet with five really smart friends.
Patton OswaltWars are usually really popular with people that aren't gonna be affected by them. 'Cause it's just entertainment, and it's just weird, like, "Well, we've got to show the world that we're strong." No we don't. And by the way, that has nothing to do with you. Why are you equating yourself with thatArray; you know what I mean?
Patton Oswalt