I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.

My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'

There's something kind of beautiful about that pure love of things. Like, "I'll show that I love the thing I love by hating everything else."

Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.

Beyond any role that I ever had, really early on as a stand-up, I would see actors decide to try it and they would bomb miserably. What I realized was that stand-up, acting and writing are all their own disciplines.

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I'm not familiar with the metric system.