Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.

Here's what I'm afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the "Doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter. They're just gonna laugh anyway."