If a person feels terrible, it usually should not be shown or acknowledged during a greeting exchange. Instead, the unhappy person is expected to conceal negative feelings, putting on a polite smile to accompany the “Just fine, thank you, and how are you?” reply to the “How are you today?” The true feelings will probably go undetected, not because the smile is such a good mask but because in polite exchanges people rarely care how the other person actually feels.

People also smile when they are miserable.

MOST LIES succeed because no one goes through the work to figure out how to catch them.

The distinction between shame and guilt is very important, since these two emotions may tear a person in opposite directions. The wish to relieve guilt may motivate a confession, but the wish to avoid the humiliation of shame may prevent it.

People do misinterpret events, especially the meaning of other people’s actions and the motives that lead people to act one way or another.

No important relationship survives if trust is totally lost.

It is our responsibility to learn to become emotionally intelligent. These are skills, they’re not easy, nature didn’t give them to us - we have to learn them.