Property is a nuisance.

There are three signs of senility. The first sign is that a man forgets his theorems. The second sign is that he forgets to zip up. The third sign is that he forgets to zip down.

When I was a child, the Earth was said to be two billion years old. Now scientists say it's four and a half billion. So that makes me two and a half billion.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Television is something the Russians invented to destroy American education.

Finally I am becoming stupider no more.

Here I am: My brain is open.