I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.

When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.

Have you ever had sex with a horse?

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.

In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.