If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.

It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.

Have you ever had sex with a horse?

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.