Sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.

The spaghetti sauce is a good thing to think about. Morning, noon, and night, think about the spaghetti sauce. Think about hustling other people to buy the spaghetti sauce.

We all die, just a question of when.

[Getting the truth in the New York Post has been as] difficult as finding a good hamburger in Albania.

No sense in being a grifter if it's the same as being a citizen.

I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense of humor.

Newman's second law: Just when things look darkest, they go black.