I would love to be in Kansas.

I probably have become more infamous from two misdemeanors than probably anyone I could think of.

I think the first time I was on The David Letterman Show, he didn't quite know what to expect. I think people generally are just a little afraid.

It's a lot easier to say you're a comic than a performance artist.

I'm the person with the final say on everything. I really love being in that position.

It's the most natural progression for me to becoming a singing sensation next. And so many people have offered to be on it. Eddie Van Halen... and Prince, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper will probably be a backup trio.

I can sit in the room with the other writers and just keep saying no until there's something I really like or until I come up with something. In that respect the proportion of what's mine and what's other people's is controlled by me. It isn't even fair to talk about.