I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

Well, the best part about stand-up is that you control everything. Period. When you work in movies, or on TV shows, there are 50 other people involved. And it's hard, man. They brainwash you to think you're doing the right thing.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

I really don't go out every night to red-carpet events.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

That's the biggest rule in Hollywood: Don't spend your own money.

I want to have my face look like Brad Pitt. Then I'll be with Jennifer Aniston and then Angelina Jolie. Then the real Brad Pitt will come in, and we'll have a Brad Pitt face-off.