Pauly Shore Quotes

Sesame Street... I think they were all high. With Big Bird, they had to be high.

My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic.

Well, the best part about stand-up is that you control everything. Period. When you work in movies, or on TV shows, there are 50 other people involved. And it's hard, man. They brainwash you to think you're doing the right thing.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

I think you gotta look at stuff half-full as opposed to half-empty.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

There's a lot of people out there who didn't like my style of comedy.

I think as a standup performer you have to feel the audience. So the audience kind of dictates what they get, you know?

It's in my blood to tour. It's in my blood to get on the road. It's in my blood to go onstage.

I never got into The Jetsons too much.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I'm Jewish. I've always had a thing where it's okay to dance with the devil, just don't become the devil.

Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.

I want to have my face look like Brad Pitt. Then I'll be with Jennifer Aniston and then Angelina Jolie. Then the real Brad Pitt will come in, and we'll have a Brad Pitt face-off.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

I really don't go out every night to red-carpet events.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

The Comedy Store attracts all types of people, growing up I was able to meet them all.

You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.

Few if any teenagers can relate to getting up for school and finding famous comics like Pryor and Williams hanging out in your living room after a hard night of partying. But that's Hollywood.

I'm definitely a lot more comfortable now in my 40s than in my 30s - that's for sure.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

Find something that you want to do when you're 60. Find your passion. Your passion, your work, whatever it is that you want to do. Find something that you would do, even if you didn't get paid. Whether it's an art or whether is something that you're passionate about.

"Entourage" is a staple LA-based show and people say it's pretty real and I thought it was. It's an exaggeration of the truth.

Even at my peak, I never went too over the top.

All these kids in Hollywood, the people born and raised out here, their parents are all in show business, and that's why I think we're good. That's why we're on top of the game now because we were born in it.

Everywhere I go, people know who I am.

My 20s were a time where I made it; my 30s were when I was away, confused, and trying to figure it all out.

Hollywood people don't want to be embarrassed by being involved with someone who isn't happening and cool at the time. But I never made the movies for the critics; I've done the best I could with the material and the directors and the actors I had. But the thing that's really exciting is that once I do that one project that's different, that stands out, everyone's gonna be watching.

Son-In-Law was kind of my crossover. It was the movie that brought me out of the MTV audience into the mainstream.

I miss that process of getting the script and reading it and working on it. Every actor has their own way of memorizing their lines, and the whole process of starting to work with the other actors and the director, and doing rehearsals, and going to the location, and going through wardrobe.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

America's Most Wanted? I love it when there's a guy in the back seat pounding his head on the plexiglas. That to me is the best.

That's the biggest rule in Hollywood: Don't spend your own money.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

When I shot the movie, I wasn't gonna think about anything except for being the biggest knucklehead in the world.

I become friends with people in each city who can show me around. Like if someone came to Los Angeles they wouldn't really know where to go, so they'd have to call me up and then I'd show them around.

When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did.

I remember taking mushrooms at the wrap party, it was like the first and last time I took that.

My life's like a big tour. It's cool, I'm still semi-young. I'm not too old yet where it's like, "I hate the road!" As long as I'm not anywhere for too long. I like to keep moving.

People should stop poking fun at other people and worry about themselves. The reality is that my movies all have made money.

Physically, my character is stronger than him which is totally unrealistic, ... Because in reality he can ... kill me. I think it has a lot to do with (him being) the youngest of all of his brothers, and I think he got beat up a lot.

I miss working with great actors, working with great directors.

I fly around with chicks on each arm and have no script. I just talk about what I feel like. But that's why my act works: I'm like this normal guy.

Small towns seem to appreciate things a little bit more. They're less jaded and they're more kind of authentic and more themselves and they don't care as much.

When you're onstage, it's important to try and feel some type of therapy in getting the material out, because then you don't leave the stage so tired. If you're onstage and you're doing the same routine over and over, then it gets monotonous. You want to be able to try to get to the truth constantly, and I think the more you do that, the easier it is.

There's nothing wrong with being a pretty girl, because you want to be, desirable. There's nothing wrong with that, but you should have a plan B even if that is getting pregnant by a rich dude.