It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to update them. The fact that they don't usually try too hard is just as well; a thoroughly updated parent is an unappetizing sight.

the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

a celebrity is someone who no longer does the things that made him a celebrity.

travel never made a bore interesting; it only makes for a well-traveled bore, in the same way coffee makes for a wide-awake drunk. In fact, the more a bore travels, the worse he gets. The only advantage in it for his friends and family is that he isn't home as much.

Many a restaurant seems to employ more copy writers than cooks.

On their return from a trip, it is wise to see friends promptly, before they've had time to get their pictures developed.

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.