Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbings, or five-minute recipes, or any of a thousand other things... My own collection is sunrises; and I find that they have their advantages. Sunrises are usually handsome, they can't possibly be dusted, and they take only a little room, so long as it has a window to see them from.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

travel never made a bore interesting; it only makes for a well-traveled bore, in the same way coffee makes for a wide-awake drunk. In fact, the more a bore travels, the worse he gets. The only advantage in it for his friends and family is that he isn't home as much.