Like a chastity belt, the package tour keeps you out of mischief but a bit restive for wondering what you missed.

One of the loveliest things about being grown up is the knowledge that never again will I have to go through the miserable business of performing in Mrs. Smedley's Annual Piano Recital at McKinleyville's First Presbyterian Church.

When there's a lot of it around, you never want it very much.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

On their return from a trip, it is wise to see friends promptly, before they've had time to get their pictures developed.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.

There are worse things than being fat, and one of them is worrying about it all the time.