Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.

a celebrity is someone who no longer does the things that made him a celebrity.

Like a chastity belt, the package tour keeps you out of mischief but a bit restive for wondering what you missed.

travel never made a bore interesting; it only makes for a well-traveled bore, in the same way coffee makes for a wide-awake drunk. In fact, the more a bore travels, the worse he gets. The only advantage in it for his friends and family is that he isn't home as much.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.

One's travel life is basically as incommunicable as his sex life is.