Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

a celebrity is someone who no longer does the things that made him a celebrity.

Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbings, or five-minute recipes, or any of a thousand other things... My own collection is sunrises; and I find that they have their advantages. Sunrises are usually handsome, they can't possibly be dusted, and they take only a little room, so long as it has a window to see them from.

But let me say this about learning experiences: they're weird. Or put it this way: what you learn from a learning experience is generally something else.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.