This is your dividing line, by the way, between child and nonchild - when the first trouble happens that Mama can't fix.

But let me say this about learning experiences: they're weird. Or put it this way: what you learn from a learning experience is generally something else.

Everything takes longer than you think it should, except for some things that don't take as long.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to update them. The fact that they don't usually try too hard is just as well; a thoroughly updated parent is an unappetizing sight.

Drinking: something to do while getting drunk.