a celebrity is someone who no longer does the things that made him a celebrity.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.

This is your dividing line, by the way, between child and nonchild - when the first trouble happens that Mama can't fix.

travel never made a bore interesting; it only makes for a well-traveled bore, in the same way coffee makes for a wide-awake drunk. In fact, the more a bore travels, the worse he gets. The only advantage in it for his friends and family is that he isn't home as much.

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.