The sad part is that all we're trying to do is not feel that underlying uneasiness. The sadder part is that we proceed in such a way that the uneasiness only gets worse. The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. Learn to stay. Learn to stay with uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening, learn to stay with the itch and urge of shenpa, so that the habitual chain reaction doesn't continue to rule our lives, and the patterns that we consider unhelpful don't keep getting stronger as the days and months and years go by.
Pema ChodronWhen we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal.
Pema ChodronRather than becoming more relaxed, you start pulling down the shades and locking the door. When you do go out, you find the experience more and more unsettling and disagreeable. You become touchier, more fearful, more irritable than ever. The more you try to get it your way, the less you feel at home.
Pema ChodronWe can begin to open our hearts to others when we have no hope of getting anything back. We just do it for its own sake.
Pema ChodronWe are all capable of becoming fundamentalists because we get addicted to other people's wrongness.
Pema ChodronWe feel that we have to be right so that we can feel good. We donโt want to be wrong because then weโll feel bad. But we could be more compassionate toward all these parts of ourselves. The whole right and wrong business closes us down and makes our world smaller. Wanting situations and relationships to be solid, permanent, and graspable obscures the pith of the matter, which is that things are fundamentally groundless.
Pema Chodron