One very powerful and effective way to work with this tendency to push away pain and hold on to pleasure is the practice of tonglen. โฏIn tonglen practice, when we see or feel suffering, we โฏbreathe in with the notion of completely feeling it, accepting it, and owning it.
Pema ChodronEven if you don't feel appreciation, just look. Feel what you feel; take an interest and be curious.
Pema ChodronAnyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness. That's when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place and that this can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time.
Pema ChodronRather than going after our walls and barriers with a sledgehammer, we pay attention to them. With gentleness and honesty, we move closer to those walls. We touch them and smell them and get to know them well. We begin a process of acknowledging our aversions and our cravings. We become familiar with the strategies and beliefs we use to build the walls: What are the stories I tell myself? What repels me and what attracts me? We start to get curious about whatโs going on.
Pema Chodron