The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.

Tonglen practice begins to dissolve the illusion that each of us is alone with this personal suffering that no one else can understand.

It is only when we begin to relax with ourselves that meditation becomes a transformative process. Only when we relate with ourselves without moralizing, without harshness, without deception, can we let go of harmful patterns. Without maitri (metta), renunciation of old habits becomes abusive. This is an important point.

It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.

Nothing in its essence is one way or the other.

The painful thing is that when we buy into disapproval, we are practicing disapproval. When we buy into harshness, we are practicing harshness. The more we do it, the stronger these qualities become. How sad it is that we become so expert at causing harm to ourselves and others. The trick then is to practice gentleness and letting go. We can learn to meet whatever arises with curiosity and not make it such a big deal.

We feel that we have to be right so that we can feel good... The whole right and wrong business closes us down and makes our world smaller.