Pain is not a punishment; pleasure is not a reward.

The next time you lose heart and you can’t bear to experience what you’re feeling, you might recall this instruction: change the way you see it and lean in. Instead of blaming our discomfort on outer circumstances or on our own weakness, we can choose to stay present and awake to our experience, not rejecting it, not grasping it, not buying the stories that we relentlessly tell ourselves. This is priceless advice that addresses the true cause of suffering—yours, mine, and that of all living beings.

Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

Resisting what is happening is a major cause of suffering.

The most heartbreaking thing of all is how we cheat ourselves of the present moment.

It is only when we begin to relax with ourselves that meditation becomes a transformative process. Only when we relate with ourselves without moralizing, without harshness, without deception, can we let go of harmful patterns. Without maitri (metta), renunciation of old habits becomes abusive. This is an important point.

In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.