Although some fools find rudeness sexy, it is never the path to seduction.

Eat without the TV going on. Learn to appreciate food with only the entertainment of conversation-yours and someone else's.

Gays feel about popularity the same way teenage girls do. Is it that we really want friends we can count on, or do we just want guys around us whom we can share our curlers with?

We think of death and loss as tragic twins, but in fact it is loss that hurts us.

Realize that the banality around us that passes as "hipness" or "mass culture" is as satisfying as "mass food"-only it comes in much more unappetizing portions.

Sports (and the often barely withheld violence around them) have become one of the few modern ways to connect with strangers. They give an amazing number of geeks things to talk about. In the old days we settled for, "Hello, how are you?

To extend oneself does not necessarily mean to have an erection.