there’s really nowhere else I can go, and even if there were, it wouldn’t make a difference because I’d just be running from myself, and you can’t do that no matter how hard you try, and trying hard is what got you in this predicament in the first place.

I'm not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don't find anything attractive about it. I can't believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit.

You can live with me in this house I've built out of writers blocks.

I'll be your number one with a bullet.

What are you looking at?” she asks. What am I looking at? My future wife? The mother of my children? The person I was put on this earth to find? Yes.

♥"I'm a procrastinating underachiever at heart."♥

The hardest part of watching someone watching me is making it appear that I'm not watching.