"You ought to be ashamed," a woman in an Easter bonnet told Stein. "Your race gave us our religion..." "From ancient polytheism, the belief in lots of gods," the woman continued a little more eruditely, "the Hebrew nation led us on to the idea that there is only one." "Which is just a step from the truth," said Stein.

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

Are you pro- or anti-macassar?

People rarely do what they don't want to.

Look at it this way: Psychoanalysis is a permanent fad.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.