I put steam on the table by being an actor. That is how I live. The longer I live, the more expensive it becomes. So I do my work. And I can't be immensely picky. How many beautiful scripts come in one's lifetime? I have had more than anybody, practically.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

If you can't do something willingly and joyfully, then don't do it. If you give up drinking, don't go moaning about it; go back on the bottle. Do. As. Thou. Wilt.

For me, life has either been a wake or a wedding.

There's a remedy for everything except death.

If you do not surrender, I shall be forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet.

The common denominator of all my friends is that they're dead.