It's very inconvenient because every time I finish, let's say, a chapter of a book, I think I'm going to ring Richard and then realize: Oh, Christ, I've buried him. I buried him last year.

A victory? What have we won? We've won a rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.

What I like is bottomless flattery.

The only thing I've ever been interested in teaching anyone in life is cricket.

Pope Paul III was the greatest thief in the history of the church.

I'm not working-class: I come from the criminal classes.

If you do not surrender, I shall be forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet.