Utah is close to becoming the latest state to legalize medical marijuana.But one DEA agent raised the alarm in front of the Utah legislature. He warned them that rabbits might eat the weed. And then what would you have? You'd have a bunch of weed-crazed rabbits running around. They'd run rampant in the state's cornfields and taco orchards.

Our politicians screw up all the time, as we see. But with so many things, we're no longer the world leader in that.

A wedding invitation is a gift subpoena.

An Icelandic mayor goes on an anti-elf rant which gets him in trouble.

Women are using makeup to make their eyes look puffy, their noses look red, and instead of going to the gym, they start their day with a brisk walk of shame.

Scientists have determined that the most irritating sound to the human ear is the sound of a knife cutting a glass bottle. And the second-worst sound is a fork scratching a glass bottle. Evidently they did all their research at the Picnic for Morons.

I am now gay 'cause I have watched Ronaldo...