I am here to fix the problem with yer pheaun.

If I can't really find a way to live with myself, I can't expect anyone else to live with me.

Relax, I'll get it. (said to Kato after Clouseau knocks him unconscious)

Conversation like television set on honeymoon... unnecessary.

Now then, what do we know? One, that Professor Fassbinder and his daughter have been kidnapped. Two, that someone has kidnapped them. Three, that my hand is on fire.

There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me but I had it surgically removed.

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was? Clouseau: Yes, the exploding kind.