Irrespective of nationality, soldiers are always open to the same discomfort and to the same comradeship the world over. I'll make things easy for you if you make things easy for me. That is, after all the unwritten law of the barracks.

American democracy is the inalienable right to sit on your front porch, in your pyjamas, drinking a can of beer and shouting out 'Where else is this possible?' Which doesn't seem to me to be freedom, really.

Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world.

We used to have lots of questions to which there were no answers. Now, with the computer, there are lots of answers to which we haven't thought up questions.

By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.