There is no question but that if Jesus Christ, or a great prophet from another religion, were to come back today, he would find it virtually impossible to convince anyone of his credentials despite the fact that the vast evangelical machine on American television is predicated on His imminent return among us sinners.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter.

To be gentle, tolerant, wise and reasonable requires a goodly portion of toughness.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.