We used to have lots of questions to which there were no answers. Now, with the computer, there are lots of answers to which we haven't thought up questions.

Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world.

I had started by imitating a parrot, which is unusual, in that a parrot is supposed to imitate you. By taking the initiative you allow the parrot no alternative but to be itself, which proves again that attack is often the best defence.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Love is an act of endless forgiveness. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.