Many have told me through the years: 'I think I'll take my chances without Jesus.' And I always come back and say, 'So what chance is that?'

I have bitten down or swallowed a few pellets through the years. My uncle had his appendix removed and there were over 100 lead pellets in it. He might have died of lead poisoning. Now that is eating a lot of game!

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

We’re Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television. You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.

You have to discipline your children, or they won't respect you, law enforcement or God or anyone else.

A real man don't call the plumbers. If he gonna call himself a man, he needs to know how to fix it, on the spot

We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job. We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus - whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?