I love all men and women. I am a lover of humanity, not a hater. … I have been immoral, drunk, high. I ran with the wicked people for 28 years and I have run with the Jesus people since and the contrast is astounding.

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

Carry your Bible and live by it. There's a better chance that you will stay married if that much is true for either one of you - male or female.

I'm with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field … They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ - not a word!

Our founding fathers started this country and built it on God and His Word, and this country sure would be a better place to live and raise our children if we still followed their ideals and beliefs.

Women are a lot like ducks-they don’t like mud on their butts.

Fear God. Love your neighbor. And shoot ducks.