Confession makes you a more trustworthy narrator.
Contradictory strands create an essay that's richly ambivalent.
You must read a lot of personal essays - you needn't reinvent the wheel.
... I vowed that I would always respect the right of an individual to kill himself. Whether suicide was a moral or immoral act I no longer felt sure, but of the dignity of its intransigence I was convinced.
I'm fortunate in being able to find great satisfaction in my work.
Have fun writing, because it enhances both the writer's and reader's experience.