I was a precocious child.

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

A problem shared is attention gained.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.