One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
Quentin CrispKeeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
Quentin CrispThe war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
Quentin CrispThe court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
Quentin Crisp