One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.

You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.

To say a thing is natural is to condone it, never to praise it.

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.

Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.

Most men when they make up their faces, the makeup stands forward, and their faces are behind.

My function in life was to render clear what was already blindingly conspicuous.