Muddled syntax is the outward and audible sign of confused minds, and the misuse of grammar the result of illogical thinking.

It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.

Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?

Now you can leave home at any time you like.Your mother comes down and finds a picture of the Eiffel Tower on her plate. And she says, 'Oh! Rosemary's gone to Paris. No wonder the bathroom was so tidy.' And nobody minds. But in my day, to go abroad with all those wicked Frenchmen, what would become of them? So no-one ever went anywhere.

Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together, I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.

Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?