I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

I lost the love of all the homosexuals in the world by saying that Princess Diana was trash and got what she deserved. She could have been Queen of England - and she was swanning about Paris with Arabs. What disgraceful behavior. Going about saying she wanted to be the queen of hearts. The vulgarity of it is so overpowering.

A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.

Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.