Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

I stay in one room, and it's easier to live there, to control it, to make it warm. It seems to me a convenient way to live, and it's cheap.

A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.

The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.