The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It's not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it's the resentment that settles on your face

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

The United States are a miracle: the division between two states is sometimes a river or a mountain, and sometimes it's a straight line. But nobody says, "That tree really belongs in South Carolina. I shan't do anything about it now, I'll get it back later." I shall go after I am here to London and after that to Potsdam, where Comrade Stalin, Mr Churchill and Harry Truman divided up Europe; and what we see now is the result of that. The Americans would have accepted it. But Europeans don't accept anything.

In England, nobody's your friend.

Vice is its own reward.

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.