To say a thing is natural is to condone it, never to praise it.

Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together, I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.

My function in life was to render clear what was already blindingly conspicuous.

I am told that you regret not what you did but what you didn't do; and so that's why I do everything, so as not to have any regrets.

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.