Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head, make their point of constructive criticism and continue on in calm forbearance. Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

I don't know how people act. I've never understood that.

The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.

Manners are love in a cool climate.