Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): "What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit?

Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.

If you don't stay in some days, you can't recharge your batteries.

I would never go to a place and live there because the weather was good or the scenery was beautiful or the architecture was wonderful. I would only go because the people are kind, and in America, everybody's your friend and happiness rains down from the sky.

People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.

Muddled syntax is the outward and audible sign of confused minds, and the misuse of grammar the result of illogical thinking.

While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated, it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.