You guys are just jealous because i'm a natural athlete and you can't cross the street without falling on your face." -(Bird) Doug

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

I guess I'm way too kind and generous, and a saint - if you can believe that!

I've never turned into a bee - I've never been chased by a mummy or met a ghost. But many of the ideas in my books are suggested by real life.

You guys are just jealous because i'm a natural athlete and you can't cross the street without falling on your face." -(Bird) Doug

Sometimes it helps to scold yourself, to give yourself advice.

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning.