My first memory in life is grilling my thumb to the griddle in our restaurant on Cape Cod.

I used to say I would never run unless I was being chased by someone with a gun. Now I'm a little obsessed with it!

I don't have to write jokes. I don't have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my mere existence is clearly insult enough.

That's a horrible thought. I guess cheese or wine. I think I might be too depressed to eat if I had to eat only one thing for the rest of my life.

I used to work in kitchens, doing 12 or more hours a day of physical labor, so today, eight to 12 hours of cooking, chatting or filming feels like a vacation. When I have a scheduled 'day off,' I spend several hours writing, then I clean until I crash from fatigue. I don't relax well.

When men I have dated over the years whined about, ‘Oh, you make no time for me’ – see ya! I just dumped them. I don’t need that pressure in my life.

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis - they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days!